How To Avoid Being KO’d By A Fish

My experiences with fishing have always been interesting ones. My Dad’s dad never really taught him to fish, and so when it came to teaching me how to fish, his advice was to get the scissors and cut the line every time it snagged or got in knots, which for me as a twelve year old boy with ten thumbs, was every other cast. I did have a few interesting fishing experiences, however, and enjoy and covet others who daftly and with accuracy cast their line gracefully into a river or lake. I had my most success at Rainbow Trout Farms, where the ponds are small and the fish are plenty and if you wanted to walk in water, this would be the place to do it. I also ‘hooked’ a fish on the Kenai River in Alaska, but had to throw it back because the fish accidentally swam into my fishing line and the barb caught its fin.

But never have I encountered a fish like the one that Seth Russell at Lake Chicot, Arkansas met while he was inner-tubing. A Silver Asian Carp jumped out of the water and left him unconscious. According to an article at, “He doesn’t remember anything at all,” the boy’s mother, Linda Russell, said last week. “He was laughing, and the next thing he remembers, he is waking in a hospital.”

Apparently this is not the first time a Silver Asian Carp has judo-chopped an innocent homo-sapien. In an effort to curtail random and devastating bouts with these ninja like creatures, here are five things you can do to be prepared when the Silver Asian Carp, or any other of its samurai buddies, attack you, without cause (unless your trying to catch and eat them).

1. Prepare for your enemy-Watch all seven ‘Rocky’ movies and constantly maintain the ‘Eye of the Tiger’ when fishing or around any open water.

2. Know your enemy-Confuscious say, “understanding enemy, victory will give you” (or was that Yoda?) Check out Wild Jumping Carp.

3. Respect your enemy-Maintain appropriate distance even when you have an adversary on the line or in a net, because an animal cornered is at its most dangerous.

4. Intimidate your enemy-When entering the water, or a boat or inner tube, make loud noises and thrash wildly in order to strike fear into any fish that might dare try a crouching tiger or hidden dragon on you.

5. Be prepared for your enemy to strike-Wear proper helmets, shoulder pads and other protective equipment while enjoying water recreation and, in the event that your enemy subdues you, recreate with a friend who knows the effects of a malicious fish attack and can give you proper treatment and care.

If you’ve ever been the victim of a lake or river fish attack, and are emotionally able to articulate your experience, leave a comment below.

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